How I Got Here: Why I Created Unmuted Women
Have you ever felt like your voice didn’t matter?
Like you had something to say, but you stayed silent because it felt safer? Or perhaps you spoke up, only to be told you were too much.
Too loud.
Too bossy.
Too demanding.
Too emotional.
Too aggressive.
Those words can stay with us for years.
I know because I lived them.
I was born into the Chinese culture, where girls and women were often expected to be quiet, obedient, and respectful. Speaking up was forbidden. From a young age, I learned that expressing an opinion, was seen as challenging authority, or bringing shame to my family.
If a girl spoke confidently, she was rarely described as confident.
She got labelled:
Aggressive.
Rude.
Disrespectful.
Bossy.
Too much.
The message was clear: stay quiet, don’t make a fuss, and don’t draw attention to yourself.
Without even realising it, I carried those beliefs into adulthood. I didn’t know how to speak up for myself, assertively.
Communication at home, was either aggressive or passive aggressive.
My parents weren’t taught how to communicate assertively. So, their communication style was passed onto me.
For years and decades, I lived an almost silent life. I felt invisible, because my voice was never heard, acknowledged and valued.
I would speak up, with my then husband and his family members, only to be shut down, just like my parents did.
Deep down, I knew life could be different.
So, on Christmas Eve of 2006, I made the most difficult decision, of my entire life. I decided to get a divorce, because I was beyond sick and tired, of being abused, by my then husband. He shut me down, every time I spoke up for myself.
My divorce papers were received in December 2010.
The Beginning of My Journey
In June 2011, something shifted.
I made a decision that would change the course of my life.
I began my personal development journey.
At the time, I didn’t know exactly where it would lead me. I simply knew that I wanted more confidence, more courage, and more freedom to be myself.
One of the biggest steps I took was joining Toastmasters International.
It might seem like an unusual choice, for someone who had spent much of her life trying not to be noticed.
But I had a dream.
I wanted to become a public speaker.
The thought excited me, because I knew I would be heard and valued.
Standing in front of an audience, for the first time to deliver my first prepared speech felt exhilarting.
I had an audience sat in front of me, all eyes on me. They weren’t going anywhere.
For the first time, in my entire life, I felt important, valued, good enough, listened to and respected.
I was addicted to having an audience now. Nothing was going to stop me, from speaking up for myself.
Finding My Voice
Toastmasters became far more than a place to practise public speaking.
It became a place where I discovered my voice.
Each speech challenged me to be more authentic.
Each evaluation helped me grow.
Each leadership opportunity stretched my confidence.
Little by little, I stopped hiding.
I stopped apologising for taking up space.
I stopped shrinking myself, to make other people feel comfortable.
Most importantly, I realised that having a voice isn’t about being the loudest person in the room.
It’s about having the courage to speak your truth.
Over the next ten years, I continued to grow both as a speaker and as a leader. The woman who once didn’t know how to speak up for herself and be heard, gradually became someone who could stand confidently in front of an audience and share her story.
The fear didn’t disappear overnight.
The confidence didn’t magically appear.
It was built one conversation, one speech, one challenge, and one brave decision at a time.
Why This Matters So Much to Me
As I found my own voice, I began noticing something.
So many girls and women were living with the very same fears.
Not because they lacked intelligence.
Not because they lacked ability.
But because somewhere along the way, they’d been taught that their opinions mattered less than everyone else’s.
Some had been told to shut up, like me.
Others had learned through experience that speaking up led to criticism, rejection, or conflict.
Many had become experts, at making themselves smaller.
I recognised myself in their stories.
And I realised, there was a major problem to tackle and resolve.
The Highly Sensitive Person inside of me, felt intense anger, to see far too many women, being silenced, like I did.
I wanted to empower other women, to find their voice and speak up for themselves.
Because every time a woman believes she has to stay silent, she is losing an important of herself.
Why I Created Unmuted Women
That is why I created Unmuted Women.
The name means more to me, than a business brand.
It represents a movement.
A movement of girls and women who are ready to stop hiding.
Ready to stop doubting themselves.
Ready to stop apologising for existing.
Ready to believe that their voice matters.
Being unmuted doesn’t mean becoming louder, than everyone else.
It doesn’t mean winning every argument, or having all the answers.
It means giving yourself permission to speak up.
To ask for what you need.
To set healthy boundaries.
To share your ideas.
To tell your story.
To be seen.
To be heard.
To take up the space, that you deserve.
My Mission
Today, I work with girls and women to empower them to build confidence, develop their communication skills, and believe in the value of their own voice.
I want every woman I work with, to know that confidence isn’t something you’re born with.
It’s something you build.
One brave moment at a time.
One conversation at a time.
One decision to stop playing small at a time.
My own journey has taught me that transformation, doesn’t happen because someone else gives you permission.
It happens, when you finally give yourself permission.
Permission to be authentic.
Permission to dream bigger.
Permission to speak up.
Permission to lead.
Permission to be heard.
An Invitation
If you’ve ever been told you’re too much, you’re exactly enough.
If you’ve spent years making yourself smaller, now is the time to expand.
If you’ve been waiting for someone to tell you, your voice matters, let this be your reminder.
Your voice does matter.
Whatever your age.
Whatever your background.
Whatever your culture.
Your story matters.
Your dreams matter.
And your voice matters.
Creating Unmuted Women isn’t the end of my journey—it’s the beginning of a new chapter.
A chapter where I hope to help countless girls and women, to discover what took me years to learn: you have a right to stop playing small, start speaking up and be heard.
You were never meant to be silent.
You were born to be heard.
